Then, there are some people who barely get by or get by with barely anything left after rent, healthcare, and household expenses.
America has entered this era of distribution of wealth that is really sad. I don’t subscribe to socialism or communism but it’s hard to see that some people are just never going to make it.
As someone who graduated in 2007 and financial crisis struck, it’s been disaster after disaster. I know some lucky people made it in tech and now have $2m or more at their name. But, there are people like me who don’t have much to show for. Just a sad reality.
As a JavaScript developer I realized around 2014, or so, that I was aligned to a shit career path where the only path to success was the attention economy, not anything regarding career elevation or technical contributions.
In that regard I have always been a failure. Still I did not deviate from this foolishness because my big open source application was becoming wildly popular and I was becoming a better developer. The reality, though, is the better I got the less compatible I became to the job market. The more I invested in my skills and contributions the more of a failure I became. This was tolerable so long as I had employment.
In 2023 when I was laid off and no longer had employment there was no further reason to pursue JavaScript related employment ever again. So there I sat for 6 six months debasing myself as I continued to look for employment in a job market I had grown to hate competing with shit beginners for entry level positions who also don’t want to do that work.
Fortunately a defense contractor found me and now I do completely unrelated work and entered management. In all honesty I do still love writing applications in JavaScript/TypeScript, but now I only write personal applications that I don’t talk about with other people.
I reconcile my level of success in that I can generally write any application I wish and solve any problem in front of me.
I also try to live below my means, as I understand that you can always find what to spend on. So be grateful to have a “normal” comfortable life, and stop there.
Surely there are things you are proud of, friends you have, people who love you, etc.
Do you know about Santosha? Try this meditation: https://youtu.be/5vI8Kh3-epg
We should all strive to live in a position of f%%% you. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XamC7-Pt8N0&pp=0gcJCfwAo7VqN...). I’m not there yet long term.
By age 40 I had three children, and I hadn't died or suffered serious illness or injury. That represents "success" in terms of evolutionary purpose and compared to the large majority of humans who have ever lived.
I have spent over 45 years working in the software industry. Not rich, but it has given me a comfortable living. I have friends and former colleagues who got rich, mostly by finding themselves in the right place at the right time and making the most of it (i.e. they got very lucky). I don't envy people who have more stuff. Desire is the root of all suffering, so you can stop feeling like you have failed by letting go of desire for superficial markers of success you apparently internalized from celebrity media meant to get you to spend more.
Someone else having a yacht, a jet ski, or taking a trip, has 0 impact on my life.
It’s not a 0 sum game. Them having less doesn’t mean I have more. Me having more doesn’t mean they have less.
When I was younger I thought if I made a certain amount of money I’d be happy. I’ve now tripled that original number and it did nothing in terms of my happiness or contentment. Life is about relationships and those don’t cost a dime.
Being healthy, getting to live some place I like, enjoying the outdoors, street food, underground music. Baking and cooking with my wife. Taking my dog to the park. I’m grateful every day.
Once I tapped into what really helped me enjoyed life I realized I definitely need money, but not necessarily astronomical amounts.
You need to get in touch with what really gives you moments of joy. Don’t follow other people, understand yourself.
Instead, they pursue the next bigger thing.
I'm from a immigrant family, zero connections, and we are all workers.
I missed the chance to purchase a home in 2018-2020 time period. My friends who bought homes at that time are doing well, going on vacations and stuff because they were able to buy property for like 500-800k in California that has now doubled in price. They're paying like 2% interest too.
Oh well, no point in comparing. Worst case scenario, I'll figure it out and make my ancestors proud for getting me to this point lol. So, I have no choice but to be grateful and keep pushing.
Where do I find my identity? I find it in Jesus Christ.
I recognize that a lot of people are going to look at that as an illusion, as me deceiving myself. But "success" is also an illusion, especially as a source of identity.
Okay - what do you subscribe to?
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=44377380
Get out of your bubble. The median household income is around $80K.
https://dqydj.com/household-income-percentile-calculator/
I would never want to live in the places you named. I have been to both. I live in much cheaper, warmer, state tax free Orlando. Moved from Atlanta where I spent my entire adult life until 2-3 years ago when I pivoted to a field that has historically been remote with travel.